No Bailout Plan

I was browsing through Twitter one slow afternoon at work and came across a tweet from CoH that caught my eye. They shared about an opportunity to take your protege to a Vacation Bible School for a week. My calendar was clear and her mom said yes to taking her.

I must admit I was nervous that Monday before I went to get C for the first night. I didn t know what to expect. Would other mentors and proteges be there? Would it be awkward that we didn t belong to the church? I was also concerned about how C would respond. Once we arrived, my worries only accelerated. How badly do we stand out? Is it strange that I m the only adult still hanging out with my kid? I kept telling C we were on an adventure together and if it turned out to be lame, we could always leave. I could tell she was happy to have that out, and at first she was not really digging any of it. The music was loud, there were tons of kids much younger than her, silly games and characters to tell Bible stories.

But something interesting happened as the evening progressed. I watched as C quickly befriended several girls in her breakout group. She enjoyed the craft and being challenged to memorize the Bible verse (albeit to win some candy). As the first night came to a close, she grabbed my hand and asked Can we come back again tomorrow?

After I dropped her off and headed home, I was overcome by how humbling the night had been. God had spoken loudly to me and the message was clear; You are not allowed to bail on My plan. I work all things according to my purpose and glory and your job is to obey. It was a real game changing week in my relationship with C, and I m so thankful God allowed it to happen.

But the story doesn t end there; fast forward to the next summer. July arrived, and I knew it was time for the church to host its annual VBS and was happy to see that I would be home from a work trip in time. I was tired, but happily drove to get her, memories of the first year motivating me to push past the fact that all I really wanted to do was crash in bed. C got in the car and she, too, was tired; so tired in fact that she didn t speak. I became frustrated, she knew I was coming, how could she stay up all night and sleep all day and be like this? At one point, she leaned the passenger chair all the way back and promptly feel asleep. Needless to say, that night didn t go anything like it did the year before. I was fed up with her poor attitude; we left early and didn t return.

I share this story because I think it accurately portrays my relationship with our Father. There are seasons in my life when I m really getting after Him. I pray daily, dive into the Word, encourage my friends, worship, repent, grow and find my true contentment in Him. And then there are those seasons where I justify not praying or reading, I compare myself to others and come out on top, I don t keep a tight rein on my tongue and enjoy my sinning too much to stop. But how great is our God! He loves me in spite of me and offers me renewed grace every morning.

There will be times, and in my two years mentoring it has been the majority, that things are going really well. She ll delight me by asking questions like: who created God? and what s that whole thing with the bread and the juice? , and I ll find myself in an unexpected but wonderful conversation about our Creator. And I can tell she s learning. However, there will be times when our hang outs won t go as I had planned and that s okay, because it isn t about me. It s about God and how He can use our relationship to grow both of us. Because not only is she learning, I am as well.

I look forward to all the adventures He has in store for us. I ve learned to enter into each with humility and without a bailout plan.

-Lindsay Holland, Mentor


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